Thoughts & Reflections Approaching Winter Break

Part of the problem with taking a break from consistent writing is it ends up feeling as though I'm trying to time my jump into a fast spinning revolving door. Each separate door frame-sized pane of glass representing a large area of life, current happenings professionally, and/or one of the myriad crazy things going on in the world on a daily basis.

 

Sometimes I think transitioning back into cogent thoughts will be smooth, and other times it seems predestined for slow, awkward, epic failure. Even though that (often times) debilitating line of thinking has kept me from reflection, I know - and personally value - the importance of looking inward and collecting thoughts on a regular basis. 

But it's more than that. This fall, there has been the ever-present feeling of "so much." So much noise; so many variables; so much distraction; so many obstacles. While I fully understand and acknowledge I write this reflection from a point of privilege and being blessed - health of self and family good, steady job, etc. - it is also valid to say the last handful of months have been a bit much. A grind. And when I think about all of it, it can be easy to let the "so much" become all-consuming. Sometimes it just feels good to put your head down, be productive, and get the job done. The problem is, there can be so much 'cargo' that you end being the one taken for a ride, wondering just how the view became so altered, so quickly.

With that said, it feels appropriate to focus on some of the positives from this first semester so far...obviously the craziest, weirdest, most challenging, and (in some ways) the most rewarding four months of a twenty-year teaching career. 

• Students are amazing. Like really, truly incredible. Is this some of the best "work" I've seen out of kids thus far? Not necessarily. Have I been pleasantly surprised and inspired on many occasions? Absolutely. My Advisory (homeroom) kids show up every day, most of them eager to talk, share, exchange stories and jokes, and encourage each other. All of my other classes typically have 97-100% attendance; work is done just as much as before. In short - the kids are alright.
• That said, my biggest worry is their mental health. Are they feeling connected enough? Do they know many adults are caring for them and invested in them every day? I know it's my #1 goal this year...creating the environment and culture where they can just come and "be," if nothing else. The work will get done, and they always end up learning. I fully believe they learn just as much by observing me - my attitude, my commitment to them, the grace I offer, the patience I show, and the enthusiasm I bring on a daily basis. 
• While it has been different to not have the usual amount of interaction with parents - especially in person - to a person they have been amazingly supportive of me and their child. I have no doubt this makes an invaluable difference. There are many roadblocks this year, but this support has worth more than I could have imagined. 
• I really miss seeing and working with colleagues in-person. This isn't really a "positive," other than it speaks to the talented, dedicated, amazing staff at my school. 
  
• The administration at my school is fantastic. Enough said.
• In some ways, this fall has been the most rewarding stretch of my teaching career. Learning new ways to instruct, connect, assess, and plan have helped me grow as an educator. 

There are more things on my mind - serious and lighthearted - from the experience of these last nine months. More posts and more reflections for other days. For now, it was important to get back in the rhythm, think about how things have gone, and take stock of all the positives going on in a world of chaos.